Saturday, April 4, 2009 ;
it's been an up & down week for me .
hit my wifey so badly that she bled .
& left her with a big "BALAKU" on her head .
i'm so pissed with myself !
said i love her, yet i hit her !
i really dunno what's got into me !
maybe i'm just stressed with my current probs .
& wifey really likes to talk sense into me .
i understand that she's trying her very best to lend a hand .
but one thing is, she likes to shout at me !
actually that doesnt mean that she's scolding me .
i know her .
but on that day it just snap !
i snap !
i hate me !
i'll do things first than regret/realise after that !
wtf! i really suck big time sia !
the face of her in pain keep playing in mind .
fuck ! fuck ! fuck ! fuck ! fuck !
nui, you know i love you .
you know that you're my future .
and i'll always need words of encouragement from you .
i need you .
the thought of leaving is never plan .
the thought of hurting is not near my heart .
but i did that !
hope you'll read this nui .
i know i'm everything to you too .
~

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pyan saturday is my intro here . my first cry 5th December 1988 .

life have been so wonderful since i met gorgeous wifey nurulain ismail on the 10th November 2007 & i can also bring up that her love she gives is unmatch . and never have i thought of replacing her, cause it'll be hard for me to find someone who is willing to love me like how she does . no offence, but she's the only one i can say that know lots about my inner & outter part . i'd like to thank her for never stop trying .

i'm also blessed with manwey(dad), varda(mom), arwen(eldest sis), luthien(elder sis) & arien(baby sis) . they are the ones that have seen all my weakness, my bullshit, my everything easy to say . with lots of shits done to them from me . they've never put me aside . they've never stop loving me . they've never stop putting hopes on me . for now, i may not be able to repay them & show them what they really meant to me . for now .
Hajah Rugajah Binte Sued. I miss you anek.

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connections
my strength & faith:
clone of an angel-1911 never gave up & stop loving me:
arwen-0401 luthien-0806 arien-2009
family friend:
di ina alina nora loudspeaker yazier nifail rumidah jullijat maihudi
JustALink:
LeLove.