10Nov2007 ; the day that i made a promise that i'll always remember .

2009-09-16T20:06:00.039+08:00

i still love you .

i still miss you .

you're all i ever want !

2009-09-13T21:17:00.027+08:00

Saatku rindu padamu

Seru kuseru namamu bertalu

Rimbunan rindu yang bertemu

Menjadi lambangan cintaku

Kuserah kepadamu

Bilaku sebut namamu

Damai diruang hatiku ini

Kuseru namamu bertalu

Menjadi lambang kasihku

Kuserah kepadamu

Engkaulah yang satu

Mustika kalbuku

Kasih dan rinduku

Oh hanyalah padamu

Engkaulah kasihku

Tiada duanya

Biar jadi hamparan

Kasihku padamu

Tanpamu siapalah aku

Engkaulah sayangku

Tiada duanya

Biar jadi hamparan

Kasihku padamu

Tanpamu siapalah aku

Engkaulah dewiku

Mustika kalbuku

Kasih dan rinduku

Oh hanyalah padamu

saturday's

2009-08-17T11:42:00.005+08:00

a beautiful night with an beautiful angel.

2009-08-14T00:47:00.002+08:00

my love, strength, faith & trust . <3

just want the world to know that,

my love for this gorgeous angel is growing stronger as seconds tik .

she's been by my side through it all .

people might think otherwise .

me as the prove as how strong this girl is .

her strength & love is so unmatch .

& that's the reason why i feel so useless sometime .

i myself am not sure if she's sincerely happy .

but i've never give up on trying .

i want this girl to be my wife .

i want her to be the girl till my last breath .

& i'm so sure not to think otherwise .

21 month & counting to eternity !

e.g pls

2009-07-08T19:40:00.004+08:00

hey there Mrs Kaijin .
firstly i'd like to say that i'm so missing you .
but, i just dont know what i did .
you've been treating me with tantrums for the past few days .
haiz . . . guess you're stressed up with your exams round the corner right ?
your oral is nearing too .
so i'll try my best to avoid you this week just so that you can concertate on revisions .
good luck from me, i'll pray hard for you loves .
anje our anni is nearing too .
think of a plan if you do wanna celebrate it dearest .
just name the place . i'm ready to bring you anywhere .
hmm . . .
whatever my father ask, told or blame .
please ignore, further more it's not mine !
i just forgot to throw it away after helping them .
hope you believe me dear .
i'm willing to lose it than i lose you .
for not calling you, i'd say that i'm still confuse with your way towards me this past few days .
if did wrong please point it to me .
dont just throw tantrums and leave me with questions in mind .
it's not that i'm not use to it .
i just need explanations . after you explain, i dont mind if you wanna throw anything to me .
for now trust me that i'm not doing anything that'll hurt you dear .
and btw, i've just got home from cutting my hair & now i'm leaving for my gramps .

ps : i'm so missing you nurulain ismail .

i'm so into loving you dearest .

i'd go to any heights just to give you happinest .

i love you . saya sayang awak . anata ga ski . woh ai ni .

love you still .

2009-06-23T23:40:00.002+08:00

hope you're reading this dear .

all i wanted to do was to call you,
say sorry for sleeping on you on the phone last night, ask if you'd like to have dinner with me after work tomorrow night & lastly wish you goodnight like i always do .

but all i got from you is "i'm irritating & i'm disturbing you" . it's really funny to get that as a respon from your "gf" after one day without talking .

you're angry cause i met my friends and never meet you . i did give you a call .
you didnt anwser . i assume you're mad bout last night dear .
so i waited for your call .

haish . . .
enough of this .
you know what i'm sick of this .
week in & week out i work just to make you feel like a princess .
but everytime i try that, you'd always find the simples of mistakes just to get angry with me .
why dear ?
i really dont get you .
you want me to work, you're always angry if i'm always asking to meet up .
but when i'm busy working & have no time to meet .
the respon i get is the same, "you screaming your lungs out at me" .

ps . nurulain, everytime i work i'd always think of you .
everytime i have my lunch i'll talk to myself and ask if you already had your lunch .
everytime i'm done working i'll always get excited bout meeting up with you .
& you keep on bragging bout me not missing you !

i love you still .

2009-05-30T21:06:00.003+08:00

i like this pic so much !

look at how easy you are at seducing me !

weeeee. . .

i wanna licky2 from your lips to your toes !

you're one hot & gorgeous lady !

this is ofcause one of the reason for me not letting my eyes of you on our first meeting .

my wife is sick !

2009-05-25T23:27:00.003+08:00

this gorgeous lady of mine is not at the right state !

she's having a very high fever ! her temprature now is 40.8 degress !

and i'm so worried for her ! she can't sleep & feeling so cold !

and i'm not even by her side ! i want to be by her side but she dont wanna trouble me !

she's so the hard head even at this moment !

pity her so much ! she was well & okey in the morning when she made breakfast .

"btw, thanks honey bun for the breakfast . it was wonderful ."

she made three dish for me, which is Lasagna, Mushroom Soup & Garlic Bread for me .

we watch Boogeyman 3 while eating though .

ain't she just so wonderful ? that's why i kept telling myself that she's the one for me .

and no one can ever replace the willingness she has for me .

she gave me love, she cooks, she bake, she's taking private O' & lots more !

she's just so wonderful & unique in her own way .

i'll be there to be with her first thing tomorrow morning .

i've told her that she can ask me to do whatever she wants .

i will take care of her, cause she's my life !

and if anything happen, i have no one to blame but me .

i love you nui & i pray nothing is wrong with you ! get well soon Wifey .

2009-05-25T01:14:00.000+08:00

"she's just one of a kind"

one roller coster !

2009-05-24T01:14:00.002+08:00

had a the wonderful week with her .

but one thing that makes me ding dong is .

we meet everyday . but i miss her everyday too .

maybe i'm just too crazy over her .

thanks dear for wonderers time .

i really wont know how my week is without you here .

i love you .

i'm missing you so much already !

a beautiful day .

2009-05-10T18:37:00.002+08:00

just got home from sending wifey home .

i'd like to thank her for spending the whole day with me .(likely i think)

she was here from 2300hrs last night till 16oohrs just now .

i'm mostly happy with her around though .

we had movie marathon .

ofcause i had to download her type of movies .

we watch "my dead girlfriend from the past" & "hatching pete".

the first story is slow & bored & the other one is funny .

after watching movie we went to sleep, it was already 0400hrs .

our eyes were letting us down .

so i prepared her for sleep .

i kiss her forehead, wish her goodnight & said thanks for a wonderful 18th month .

than i tap her to sleep . she went straight to deep sleep .

eventually i cant get myself to sleep .

cause watching her sleep took away all my tiredness .

while watching this sleeping beauty .

all sorts of thoughts came to mind .

the thougth of being the luckiest man to have her by my side .

the thougth of all bad things i've done, instead of letting go she kept holding on & never gave up .

the thought of all the beautiful & ugly things we went through together .

the thought of me getting to watch the sunrise on her face .

the thought of me getting to be the first one to say "i love you" to her in the morning .

but one particular thought struck me in fear .

what kind of man will i be if she didnt appear into my life .

tears followed after all those thoughts .

i hurriedly hug her tiedly & wispered to her ear "i love you, dont you ever leave me".

she woke up & push me aside & said "i ngantok lah ayg!" hahaha . . .

after that i on the comp & update blog .

than i on songs & went straight to sleep .

we woke up at 0900hrs & went straight to bath .

after bathing i thought she wanted to go off .

instead she wants to stay longer & try out my x-box360 .(much to my delight)

she saw this PINATA game & wanted to try it .

while she was trying out the game .

i made breakfast for us both .

she got so hooked to game that when breakfast was ready .

i had to feed her her breakfast & mine at the same time .

i had to wait till she was finish chewing, i had to wait till she said she wants water .

i had to wait for her to be done so i can go on & wash the dishes .

oh . . . how "Princess" like way this wifey of mine did, she is my "Princess" anyway .

she played the game with full of concentration .

even though the game wasnt intense . she didnt allow me to disturb her ! (cerewet kan ni "Princess"!)

she played the game till she got tired & sleepy .

she told me she had plans to go out & celebrate "mother's day" with her family .

so we make our move to her place .

but when she reach home, no one was home .

i felt so freaking, fucking guilty sia .

she willingly spend the day with me till she was left by her family alone at home . (currently)

i didnt remind her that she has to go out with her family .

now her mother have to celebrate "mother's day" without her, all thanks to me .

but overall, i had a wonderful & beautiful time .

& this is the longest time i spend with her on our "ANNI" .

i really love what had just occured .

i wish it'll happen again soon .

thanks & sorry dear .

love you nurulain ismail .

they mean the world to me .

2009-05-10T18:21:00.005+08:00

happy mother's day .

this are the people who is a mother to me .

they showered me with love .

they thought me the right path in life .

they gave me support in life .

they are the real Wonder Woman .

hajjah rugayah sued <333
hamidah surnan <333
siti farhana sabtu<3
siti nuraishah sabtu <3
siti adrianyanty sabtu <3
nurulain ismail <33333

---<--<-(%@

our 18th month

2009-05-10T05:20:00.004+08:00

nurulain ismail .

18th month ago we made a promise to love & be by each others side no matter what the situation is .

so far we've fulfill the promise & went through ups & down with strong heart .

after all i did, it's incredible that you're still holding strong to me .

i love you dear .

we sleep tonight and you are by my side .

we're talking about our lives, like we've known each other forever .

the time flies by, with the sound of your voice .

it's close to paradise, with the end surely near .

and if i could only stop the time and hold onto you and never let go .

i'll never let go as we past through life .

i want to speak these words, but i guess i'll just bite my tongue .

i don't want to speak these words .

i don't want to make things any worse.

why does tonight, have to end ?

why don't we hit restart, and pause it at our favorite parts we'll skip the goodbyes.

if i had it my way,i'd turn time around and runaway, just you and i.
"i'll be going through withdrawal of you for this one night we have spent."

2009-05-09T21:34:00.002+08:00

my confidence, my strength, my hope, my breath, my life .

that's how i describe them .

2009-05-09T12:17:00.002+08:00

Don't walk infront of me . I may not follow .
Don't walk behind me . i may not lead .
Just walk beside me and be my friend .
-Nurulain Ismail
-i love her okey .

2009-05-06T02:55:00.003+08:00

my day was beautifully well .

obviously cause i have gorgeous wifey by my side .

but the other reason is so unexpected .

but yet i like it & thanks god for it .

we when through without quarrelling .

instead we when through it with full of jokes & laughter .

ofcause i'm not saying that i dont like the other days .

all the days spent with you is always unmatch .

but this day, it is unique once in a blue moon .

finally get to meet her .

2009-05-05T07:48:00.002+08:00

just got off from two days without wifey .

now I'm set & ready to meet her .

but she ask to delay time till 8.30 .

heck with it . as long as i get to meet her & be by her side .

that's all i want though .

first thing i wish to do when we meet .

i wish to give her a tight hug .

than i wish to kiss her at every places that is possible .

yeah . i may sound desperate .

but no one knows how much she mean to me .

no one knows what role she plays in my everyday life .

but who gives a damn about what people thing .

i know I'm so crazily into this maniac wifey of mine .

but first things first .

i wish she is as excited as i am at this moment .

argh . me & my wishes . fuck shit !

i love nurulain ismail & that's that .

2009-05-04T14:10:00.000+08:00

just let the cat outta bag will yah .

2009-05-04T00:54:00.001+08:00

sorry for being too demanding .

it's just that my day sucks without you .

2009-05-01T23:54:00.001+08:00

i love you nurulain !

2009-05-01T23:22:00.004+08:00

a day without hugging & kisses .

dear, you're really part of my everyday life now .

but too bad, you find it average & sometimes bored .

well for me, it is always wonderful & gorgeous with you by my side .

sorry to be so useless & weak at the moment .

and at the moment i cant bring you to beautiful places .

nurulain, i am really trying my best just for you to see me in your future .

for now, i just want to be the cooless & best .

but sometimes i find you pushing me too far .

i dont give a damn though, i just want to be the best you ever had .

can i be the best that you ever had ? can i be the one that you've been searching for ? can i be the one that you want to spent all your old age with ?

2009-05-01T14:01:00.001+08:00

2009-05-01T02:56:00.003+08:00

just got home from spending time with wifey .

first she accompanied me go jogging,

than we went to 925 to slack with

bob, boiman & amoi .

as usual i love it .

cause i got to meet me wifey .

i thought we werent gonna meet,

cause she went out with her lil cousin .

like always i thought she was gonna be too tired .

but to my luck, she willingly put aside her tiredness

just to be by my side .

she also thought that i was mad at her for not being with me .

she just dont get me this past few days .

she'll always think of bad things bout me .

haish . . . but i dont mind .

i want to be that "better man" for her .

btw, just want her to know that,

i'm happy that she still have alina by her side .

i'm happy that she have someone other than me,

to bring her out & make her day .

cause i really feel so useless now .

with me without a job .

i can only go over to her's or she come over .

& sometimes slack at the voideck or go to library

to let her do her revision & she watching me play soccer .

I'M A USELESS BF RIGHT ? ! ! !

ps i'm really trying my best okey .

2009-04-30T15:38:00.002+08:00

life have seriously been so wonderful .

i've not been angry or pissed this past few days .

thanks to nurulain .

but she would always think that i'm pissed when i suddenly go silent .

does silent mean anger ?

or does silents means something is in your mind ?

enough with it lah dear .

i'm trying my best not to fight with you .

& i know i've succeed .

& ofcause i'm happy with it .

you are the reason i succeed .

you love me .

2009-04-24T01:53:00.000+08:00

i'm sowie nui .

nice week .

2009-04-24T01:36:00.002+08:00

3days with gf day & night .

although we didnt do much .

i really enjoy the time .

actually i wanted to be with her day & night for 7days .

before i go back to gramps .

but too bad though .

no matter i really appreciate it .

thanks nurulain ismail .

i love you .

it's 1726hours & she still sleeping .

2009-04-19T17:25:00.001+08:00

it's already 1726hours & i still can't sleep .

1. cause i miss my wifey so badly but she still sleeping seh .

pity her sia . so weak & tired i guess .

2. my sis friends is over here karaoking her lungs out .

she's practicing for coming up anugerah !

hahaha . . . cool . she has nice voice too .

mama ? where are you ? i cant sleep missing you !

ARGH ! ! !

2009-04-19T15:08:00.002+08:00

hey pips . still cant lay my eyes to rest .

since my gf left for home at 0730hours just now .

i've been trying to get myself something to do .

just to wait for my gf .

so when she wakes up from sleep & call me .

i'll be right here answering her calls .

urm . i love you so .

my girl makes my day .

2009-04-19T12:19:00.004+08:00

i dowan to fight no more .

i dowan you to shed tears nor blood anymore .

enough of you suffering .

you've done it all for me .

but now, all i want is you .

you just being by my side doing nothing but by my side .

i'll not just be happy .

i'll be so crazily happy .

appreciate it loads .

nurulain lets be happy together as one like we use too . take my hand & hold it tight . say that i'm forever yours & get on your knees, hold my leg & beg for me to stay on . ***

love, love, love .

2009-04-17T18:36:00.001+08:00

leave me alone .

walk away from me .

turn your back on me .

the only one who get this from you is me .

sorry .

2009-04-17T15:38:00.002+08:00

why are so easy tick off ?
when it comes to mine .
everything is okey .
but when it comes to yours .
without fail you'll get so ticked off sia .
why is that so nui .
haish . . .
you're suppose to come over .
i waited & got a NICE early morning msg from you .
does the post below shows if i'm really trully pissed ?
i'm not, but if you wanna make the whole world knows .
i cant stop you .
i just waited .
i'll always be waiting .
i've already told you to come over no matter what.
the situation is right ?
but where are you ?
where's your 1230hours till at night ?
where are you ?
when is it gonna be easy for me ?

2009-04-17T03:27:00.001+08:00

why the sudden delete of friendster account ?

why the change of passwords ?

dont i have the right to go through your past ?

i dont get it sia .

why sia ? you can but i cant .

PISSED OFF !

2009-04-15T23:02:00.003+08:00

i'm feeling so cold, hot, agitated all at once .

but where are you when i'm putting full effort for it .

i dont expect anything else but your hugs & comfort ?

back !

2009-04-15T22:50:00.004+08:00

back to low life again .
if she's really leaving than be it .

i'm just so happy .

plead for her to be with me,

when i'm at this state .

but it just dont get through,

her BIG egoistic head or mind !

2days alone without anything .

i'm really trying but you never believe .

this is why you confest love for me over again .

that's why you're with me cause of pityness .

not cause of your heart .

now i know why was it easy for you to replace me once .

this potrate may fade, but never this feeling of LOVE for you fade .

nurulain .

so tired

2009-04-15T05:07:00.003+08:00

when to wifey's place in the morning .
while we were sleeping away . hahaha . . .
this part is kind of funny to me though .
her sister came knocking so loudly on the door .
me wifey woke up straight standing ! hahaha . . .
should have had video recorder there !
her sister came after sending my fav baby to the clinic .
she came asking me wifey, recipe for pizza .
argh . i was so darn tired & sleepy . i didnt sleep the whole day before sia .
being the two clumsy sisters that they are .
they tried making pizza on their own .
but to a great laugh they miss someting .
they were so curious why their pizza didnt cook right .
& i just cant stop laughing at their way,
when they were babbling curiously about it .
yah2 . their aunt came along & deliver the right one .
& yeah, the pizza can be said superb .
while waiting for their pizza, i got so tired & sleepy !
after having a piece, me wifey packed another for me .
& i headed back for home .
i was really plannig to reach home & sleep .
not until me friend called, asking to meet up awhile .
before going off i called wifey to inform, but she just hung up .
i thought she was tired, so i just went off .
while with me friend, me friend recieve text from her saying .
"blang yan bagus uh tglkan gf die sorg2 boring kat umah ."
haiz . . . why girls always get the wrong idea uh !
she was tired, so i thought of just letting her sleep .
but her thingking is that i was happy without her .
wtf, i'm just trying to be understanding & not disturb her !
end up . i headed home at 2030hrs . had dinner first .
than called up me wifey, but the respon wasnt good .
my fault i guess ? she hung up after talking awhile . because of what ?
i didnt call back though . cause i'm just so weak here .
she called few mins later & kept on babbling about me leaving her alone .
but she just dont get it ! i hung up & went straight to sleep .
that is till now that i just woke up !
too realise that i left me wifey sleeping alone .
& didnt wish her too sleep !
fuck, what a useless bf i am ! haish . . .
i'm so so sorry hunny buns !
love you ! miss you !

hey hey hey .

2009-04-14T00:49:00.001+08:00

i'm sorry i didn't meet up with you .
but this thought of me not deserving a perfect girl like you .
just came up in my mind .
it really hurts so much .
having to think of all the things that i've done to you,
not giving the happiness you so really crave for .
but without fail, i've tried every sec .
& you know that, i know .
but some how, everything i do has never been rigth in your eyes .
& without a miss, you'll always find reasons to be angry with me .
although you already know that i'm one dumb ass .
yet you expect me to go get everything right fast .
no matter how much differents we have from each other .
my heart strongly knows that we have one command thing that is so strong,
that no one will ever have the strength or power to take it away,
except for us, we're the ones who could take this one commad thing away .
& that is for sure our strong love that we have for each other .
i know that dear, but in my part .
i'm not really to sure for you .
cause it's always been me who has always think for a happy future for us .
but you'll always think otherwise .
& put my addiction to the picture, without fail .
~
nurulain, you love me too !
& i love you so !

to spend the whole day with you

2009-04-12T01:42:00.002+08:00

just reach home from wifey's place .
although it's a short time .
i really love the time .
come to think back .
it's been a long time since we sat there & got mushy !
hehehe . . .
i know i hurt you again today .
but, you know that deep inside me .
i really do want to spend the whole day with you .
so i came up with this plan for sunday .
or should i call it the perfect whole sunday with nurulain .
so here's my plan for you, me & us .

wake up from sleep .
slack around with family at home .
than go take a bath & eat .
call you and ask if you've woken up, if you are .
than i'll go with my plans .
meet you at 1600hrs or 1700hrs .
go library with you, follow you to your fav section & wait till you get the books you like & than go borrow the books .
after that go to chinese/japanese gardens so you can do your revision peacefully .
after your revision we sit there & enjoy the peace & maybe take some pics .
or maybe we can walk till jurong lake park & have fun there .
too bad i dont have cash for our dinner ! which suck big time ! i really dunno what to do for dinner ! blank !
than at night, i hope you'll agree to come over my place & as usual watch movies .
after doing all this, you decide what time you wanna go off .
cause monday morning i want to be at your place .

hope you'll agree with my plan for the whole happy sunday for us .

i hope this plan of mine will succeed . i really wish that once awhile i get to really spend the day with you .

2009-04-11T08:09:00.000+08:00

i love nurulain ismail !

& she loves me too !

happy good 17th month annivesary

2009-04-11T07:24:00.004+08:00

good 17th month anni is over .

i hope i did everything rite .

i hope i did put a smile on your face at least once .

i hope i did put a relief feeling in your heart at least once .

i hope you loved the dinner i serve for you .

i hoped yov love every moment spend .

cause i did, i've always do & always will nui .

my love i admit wrong for not reminding you,

for your early morning class .

i remember you telling me that you dont have class .

but it was a mistake . please dont be angry too long .

but i really thought that you dont have class,

cause you were okey with me asking you over .

you didnt even mention your class .

now, i would like to say that .

i wont blame you for leaving .

cause i know i've been promising lots of things,

& delivering it all too late .

but i know i've not forgotten any of it even .

i've never kept trying to achieve it .

but i thought the most important thing of promise is to deliver .

i've been doing it too slow i guess . haish . . .

i know i'm useless i admit .

but this feelings to make you happy has never stop .

never will, cause you're that most precious princess in my heart .

but for now, i'll like to say sorry for what i've done .

i hope you'll forgive me for the past & present & hopefully future .

btw, i did avoid meeting anyone & didnt go out of the house,

cause i was sitting at home excitingly waiting for me wifey,

to reach to have dinner & watch movie all with her .

most importantly is that i did avoid taking anything into me .

i really wish to stop that habit .

cause that is all my wifey wants from me .

& she's been waiting for a year & five months for me to stop .

but i'm just not putting to much effort to it !

now that i've lost everything to you .

you say you want to start something new .

and it's breaking my heart you're gonne leave .

& if you wanna leave take good care .

hope you have lots of nice things to wear .

a lot of nice things turn bad out there .

it's hard to get by, just upon a smile .

i'll always remember you like a princess girl .

you know i've seen a lot of what the world can do .

& it's breaking my heart in two .

cause i never want to see you sad girl, dont be a bad girl .

hope you make a lot of nice friends out there .

just remember there's a lot of bad & beware .

nurulain i love you so much .

thanks for enduring all pains i've given .

you know that it's never intentionally .

you have done so much just for us .

i know your love for me has always been strong .

you love me too .

2009-04-10T04:49:00.007+08:00

this girl is muhd sufyan's love .
she is the reason for him still standing & walking .
but sometime she doesnt realise that .
cause she's so focused on him & his addiction for drugs .
he is not blaming her . but sometime she is too strick !
but what the hell, no matter how the day turns out .
nurulain will forever be muhdsufyan love life .
the first in his heart & is never to be replace .

nurulain is my anjeje, manje, mama, mama nuyul, nui .
those are the love names given to her by me .
for the past 17month, she's been enduring lots & lots of crappy stuff from me .
& sincerely saying i appreciate it .
i tried & still trying very hard to avoid all those heart pains for you .
but everytime i will fail .
i've never plan to give up though .
for 17months too she's been giving me LOVE a man could never replace .
never resist, never forget, never !

i'm really sorry for all the heart pain i've given !
the blood i shed ! the tears i ignore ! the pleas forgotten !
i'm really sorry ! will forgive me & wait for improvements ?

do you believe me when i say i'm always happy when you're around ?
do you believe that no one has ever love me the way you do ?
do you believe that no one is ever gonna replace you ?
do you believe that i really so love you more than anyone ?
do you believe that i will change ?
do you believe that i'm gonna make you happy again ?
do you believe that i'm trying my best to change ?
do you believe ? will you belive ? are you trying to believe ?

any other girl, i'd let you walk away .
any other girl, i'm sure i'd be ok .
tell me what makes a man .
wanna give you all his heart .
smile when you're around .
and cry when you're apart .
if you know what makes a man .
wanna love you the way i do .
girl you gotta let me know .
so i can get over you .
what makes her so right ?
is it the sound of her laugh ?
that look in her eyes ?
when do you decide ?
she is the dream that you seek ?
that force in your life .
when you apologize, no matter who was wrong .
when you get on your knees,
if that would make her come to you .

2009-04-10T04:43:00.001+08:00

i dunno when was this art drawn . but i find it really amusing & cute .

artist : nurulain ismail .

2009-04-10T03:59:00.010+08:00

"to be brave is to love someone unconditionly,without expecting anything in return.to just give.that takes courage.because we don't want to fall,on our faces or leave ouselves open to hurt."

i have promised to make this girl my princess .

& i will fulfill this one & only promise .

cause to me this is most important .

i will bring her to see happiness i promise .

but for now i have to be held back ,

cause of my stupidity !

cant regret now though .

but, with the time given .

i'm giving all i have to make her happy & stop those tears flowing .

my love will never go to others thats one promise i can always keep .

cause this heart is meant to love wifey nui : nurulain
we may have gone through lots & lots of downs .
but i just hope that when you look up you'll be amazed,
of all those wonderfull things we went through to together as one .

this is 17 pics to celebrate our beautiful 17th month journey .

i love you nui . i really do !

happy 17th month anniversary .

thanks for your undying believe, support & most importantly your Love .

sincerely,

your hubby monster,

muhd supyan saturday !

2009-04-09T04:32:00.001+08:00

Kind of Perfect - Armor for Sleep

2009-04-08T15:46:00.002+08:00

didnt work today with a hope to spend a splendid time with nurulain !
but what i did was wrong in her eyes .
everything that i do for her is never right in her eyes .
just dont get it !
really !

2009-04-08T13:47:00.000+08:00

everything that is to do with you !
i love it ! i want it ! i need it !

2009-04-08T02:02:00.000+08:00

i thing what you say is right !

i dont deserve to have anyone by my side !

i am meant to be alone in this world !

but, i can never stand on my own !

you know it !

i need words of encouragement from people around .

i might be useless now !

but now doesnt shows my future !

everyone changes okey !

i love my nurulain ismail ! & i'm so sorry for being useless !

2009-04-08T01:45:00.000+08:00

everything i do is never enough !

everything bad is never forgotten/never will !

every good deeds is always easy come easy go !

people say that action speaks for us !

but the truth is the inner part is more important !

our damn bloody heart that is !

if only my heart could speak !

i'll let my love one's here to it !

let them know my FUCKING true intention for them .

i maybe one fucking like ONE say "useless" addict !

but i'm always that soft fucking Muhd Sufyan !

& this mind & heart have never ever stop thingking,

of the ones that have sacrifice so much for my sake !

Ayna, Manwey, Varda, Arwen, Luthien & Arien !

this are the people who would always put words,

into my feelings .

did they even check through my heart,

to know what am i thingking bout them ?

they would always say that i'm happy without their present !

but do they really know ? !

FUCK LIFE !

2009-04-07T03:00:00.000+08:00

i'm so missing my wifey !
have not been spending much time together this 3days .
3days only sia !
& i'm like going gong-gong already !
that's how important she is to my everyday life .
if only marriage is free .
hahaha . . . siow uh !
if only i'm not at the situation i am now .
if only i didnt do stupid things in the past .
her parents could have accepted me with open arms!
haish . . . i so crazily in love with this unique crazy girl .
every sec with her is always needed & i meant it okey !
when can i hug you sleep again ?
when can i kiss you to sleep again ?
when can i pok-pok you to sleep again ?
argh . . .
mama i miss you many-many lah !
~
her aunt just past away cause of the "the food poisoning case at geylang Indian Rojak Stall" .
why are they so mean ! why were they so careless !
may god rest her soul peacefully .
& lets all give our prayers to her !
~
nui, you love me !

2009-04-06T17:04:00.000+08:00

she makes me go woohoo !

she makes me go gong-gong !

she makes go out of control !

she makes me melt every sec !

Oooo. . .

that's how SexyLicious she is !

you love me too !

2009-04-06T00:41:00.000+08:00

nurulain ismail .

muhd sufyan sayang awak .

banyak-banyak boleh ?

2009-04-06T00:24:00.000+08:00

that thing will destroy us .

choose life .

and lead wisely .

this guys are fucking cool .

2009-04-06T00:19:00.000+08:00

"he & he"

just a sexy pic i fell in love with .

hot & sexy !

i loiky !

2009-04-05T18:13:00.000+08:00

love !

never wish to stop this though !

but this is just 1 of 3 main addiction probs i'm facing !

2009-04-05T18:11:00.000+08:00

smoking kills !

if only i could just do this once !

& satisfy my habits & stop all together !

2009-04-05T18:08:00.000+08:00

drugs sucks .

gimme a helping hand !

2009-04-04T01:59:00.000+08:00

just now i've completed 75 question of english homework .

that was given by my wifey .

cause she went sentosa with her cuz .

& i ask her to borrow me her psp,

cause i know i'll be darn bored without her the whole day !

so in return to borrowing her psp,

i need to do homework .

WOW ! it's been 6years since i was given one .

it's kinda history making uh .

hahahahahaha . . .

when she return home from sentosa,

she gave me time to complete my homework,

since i didnt complete it in time .

while she was sleeping away to dream land at home,

i went some place to complete my work .

she gave me 2hours, which is till 1900hr .

but to my forgetfulness i got so attach to playing the psp,

and forgot all about it.

when she woke up, the first she ask was "Dah habis ke belum?"

i got so "kanchiong" & quickly do my work sia .

end up i complete it at 2100hr .

obviously she's mad uh .

i needed to finish it by today,

cause if i didnt, i wont get to meet her sia !

hahahaha . . . "punishment lah konon"

she's my chicher & i'm her teachers pet,

Ooooo . . . .

i think i like that teachers pet word !

nui, you know i know !

hahahahaha . . . .

& guess what ? i got most of it wrong sia .

i'm like so stupid lah ! but still dunno what's my mark .

--/75 . like exams .

& now i need to submit another,

75 question homework again to her by tomorrow night .

but fare enough though .

i get to past time .

rather than sit at home doing nothing or

slack around friends that she hates so much .

see guys, she's the best wifey a boy could ever wish for .

& for those people who keep on telling stories about her past

or people who likes to say that she's not that good of a gf

or people who thinks that she dont deserve me .

i say you guys can FUCK OFF !

she's not the nurulain you guys know !

she's muhd sufyan's nurulain from 10th nov 07 onwards .

she maybe a devil in your eyes in past, present or future .

but she's my angel forever !

we made a vow to start a new .

so everything about us since that day is fresh & CLEAN !

nurulain ! you love me too !

2009-04-04T01:29:00.000+08:00

it's been an up & down week for me .

hit my wifey so badly that she bled .

& left her with a big "BALAKU" on her head .

i'm so pissed with myself !

said i love her, yet i hit her !

i really dunno what's got into me !

maybe i'm just stressed with my current probs .

& wifey really likes to talk sense into me .

i understand that she's trying her very best to lend a hand .

but one thing is, she likes to shout at me !

actually that doesnt mean that she's scolding me .

i know her .

but on that day it just snap !

i snap !

i hate me !

i'll do things first than regret/realise after that !

wtf! i really suck big time sia !

the face of her in pain keep playing in mind .

fuck ! fuck ! fuck ! fuck ! fuck !

nui, you know i love you .

you know that you're my future .

and i'll always need words of encouragement from you .

i need you .

the thought of leaving is never plan .

the thought of hurting is not near my heart .

but i did that !

hope you'll read this nui .

i know i'm everything to you too .

2009-04-03T01:06:00.000+08:00

i made her pour out blood .

i hit her too hard that her head bounce of the metal bar of the bed & the hard wall !

cause of stupid reason .

i'm just so getting worse cause of my addiction !

fuck up !

it's obviously my fault .

i'm sorry dear !

dont leave please .

i know you love me .

2009-03-30T04:19:00.000+08:00

aku kangen sangat pada kau babi !

you love me too .

weeeee. . .

2009-03-30T03:46:00.000+08:00

it's 0350 hours to be exact !

everyone including nurulain is asleep now .

& i just dont know why i still cant get myself to sleep .

fuck up sia !

while i cant get myself sleep .

flashbacks from my memories with nenek keep playing in mind .

& as normal i'll get all sentimental .

argh ! ! !

maybe it's because, i didnt get to please her before she left .

i didnt get to do lots of stuffs before she left !

i didnt ! & it really hurts & life really kinda of suck now !

being one tough ass doesnt mean he cant be sentinmental rite ?

& being a bad ass brings lots of tears to others too .

when they shed tears for me, they thing that i dont even care .

when they dont even know that i'm shedding more tears

cause they're shedding tears for me .

i really find it better to fail in studies rather than fail in life .

but at this moment i'm both !

& it really sucks ! BIG ONE !

hahaha . . .

2009-03-29T20:58:00.000+08:00

pernah ada cerita tentang radit & jani .

sekrang bermula cerita tentang pyan & ayna .

2009-03-29T12:15:00.000+08:00

i miss my nurulain already !

if only my heart could really speak out !

& tell how crazily happy i was when i got to meet her .

oh . . .

i got to put & hug my wifey to sleep .

yet, i still want to be with her !

i love you nui .

i really do !

2009-03-29T08:56:00.000+08:00

i'm starting to get so darn bored already .

2009-03-29T08:36:00.000+08:00

send someone to love me

i need to rest in arms

keep me safe from harm

in pouring rain

give me endless summer

girl I fear the cold

feel Im getting old

before my time

as my soul heals the shame

i will grow through this pain

girl i'm doing all I can

to be a better man

go easy on my conscience

cause its not my fault

i know i've been taught

to take the blame

rest assured my angels

will catch my tears

walk me out of here

i'm in pain

once you've found that lover

you're homeward bound

love is all around

i know some have fallen

on stony ground

but love is all around

~words are all i have to take her heart away .

2009-03-29T08:21:00.000+08:00

DEJAVU ! ! !

a repeat of the last weekend .

-my atok & mom when johor on saturday evening .

-gf come over to watch movie saturday night & left in the early morning of sunday .

-dad go off to johor .

-i'm wide awake early sunday morning !

-still blur bout what to do today .

-since original plan to spend the whole sunday with gf got cancel .

-so just roll up on bed the whole day .

-meet FRIEND in the afternoon !

-gf obviously oblivious mad !

-me & gf quarrel !

-fuck up !

it's really gonna be a damn weekend again !

wait ! it is another damn weekend !

plan to cuddle up with gf get cancel again !

i need her, i need her, i need her !

argh !

2009-03-28T17:59:00.000+08:00

this is my pretty, hot, sexy & inteligent wifey !

& i am so crazily in love with her !

if you guys thing that she's not what i say !

than you guys are crazy !

2009-03-28T17:30:00.000+08:00

this day will be remembered by me as the day that i was totally rude to my wifey !
she cried so hard on that day . yet i pretend nothing was wrong .
~
we went to Mcdonalds .
we sat near the counters .
than she ask me what i want to eat .
but i just look at her and say anything .
than she stand & mumble some words and went off to the counters .
she came back with two ice-cream cones .
she offered me one and i just look at her and nodded .
than we just sit there without talking .
while she was eating her ice-cream .
i was just starting to take mine .
than i dunno what got into me .
i like so fucking purposely to push the ice-cream she bought for me to the floor .
right before her eyes sia !
than i smile at her and say sorry & accidents happens !
i REALLY dunno what got into me !
she stared at me with red & watery eyes !
than she stand up and walk off .
crying her heart out !
she sat at a bench with ice-cream melting down her hands !
when i came to approach her, she walk away .
when she was walkin all alone .
i look at that lonely girl and realise that i hurt her so badly !
i broke her fucking heart on the day that was supposingly to be a happy day !
i looked & stared at her !
and this pity feeling came to me .
i talk to myself & said
"kesian sak ni pompan, die tengah try mati2 nk uat aku happy, tapi at last aku uat die nangis .
kenape lah aku selalu nk kene buat die nangis ehk ? selain aku, sape lagi yg die ade . haish . . .
kenape lah prangai aku ni suke penting kan diri sendiri ehk ! pukimak kau lah yan ! kau jantan kurap sak ! dah bagus ni pompan stay on ngn kau sial ! "
after that i gave chase & apologise .
do you guys know how hard it is for her to cool down ?
walan !
i had to beg like shit sia !
seriously !
~
hey dear, do you really thing that i'll forget this incident easily ?
fyi, everytime you were to cry .
it'll never be easy for me to forget any of it .
NEVER WILL !
i love you nurulain .
~
this proves that love will always have its sweet & bitter !
& how strong love is when we really do love each other !
& also prove that i'm not that good of a husband to my wifey !

2009-03-28T17:01:00.000+08:00

quarrels, mis-understanding & blaming each other is what me & my mama has been doing for the past few days .

nurulain i'm really trying hard to achieve what you wanted .

always had & forever will .
but you just cant seem to be patient .

if you really thing that i can never change .

than why did you gave me all those hopes .

why did you took everything away .

why did i even have the heart to put everything aside & put you infront .

why have you been guiding my path for the past 16months .

the things i'm getting from you are complaints bout me, getting bored in an instant even with me by your side & shouting !

do you know how it feels ?

it really feels like we've just got to know each other .

and you dont like my personality .

i really expect you to know me, to understand me .

yes you do that, but complaint will come after that .

why do i have the feeling that you dont know much about me "anymore" .

argh !

cut the crap .

i know that you love me and i want you to be my side at every sec .

and just make every single sec as my last cause that is what i've been thingking everytime if you were to go home or sleep .
nurulain i really can do it .

but all i need is you nui .

you by my side when the cold turkey starts to come .

you wiping off the sweat off my body .

you brushing my hair .

you kissing me goodnight .

you hugging me to sleep .

and all i ever dream off is waking up beside you and watch the sunrise on your face & say that i love you .

~
you love me nurulain

2009-03-25T12:42:00.000+08:00

siti farhana binte sabtu wedding day . a sad & happy one .

2009-03-23T17:36:00.000+08:00

fuck off guys ! this "lonely" lady is mine ! & mine only !
i really had a wonderful & sweaty time with you !
i love it ! i love every sec with my mama !
& pls dont you ever have the thought of stopping this love !
no one can ever come & stop this love .
only nurulain & muhdsufyan can !
~
~
i wanna know who ever told you I was letting go .
the only joy that I have ever known girl, they're lying .
just look around and all of the people that we used to know .
have just given up, they wanna let it go .
but we're still trying .
so you should know this love we share was never made to die .
i'm glad we're on this one way street just you and I .
i'm never gonna say goodbye cuz I never wanna see you cry .
i swore to you my love would remain and I swear it all over again .
i'm never gonna treat you bad cuz I never wanna see you sad .
i swore to share your joy and your pain .
and I swear it all over again .
some people say that everything has got its place in time .
even the day must give way to the night .
but I'm not buying .
cuz in your eyes I see a love that burns eternally .
and if you see how beautiful you are to me you'll know I'm not lying .
sure there'll be times we wanna say goodbye .
but even if we try there are something's in this life won't be denied .
the more I know of you, is the more I know I love you .
and the more that I'm sure I want you forever .
and ever more and the more that you love me, the more that I know .
~
you love me nurulain ismail .

2009-03-23T04:11:00.000+08:00

mama ! kite takleh tido !
where are you !
& what are you doing !
ARRRRRGGGGHHHH ! ! !

2009-03-23T04:06:00.000+08:00

what really happen to us .
where's the one united .
am i the reason for our fall out .
cause i brought you guys to meet su .
since that moment .
everthing starts to change slowly .
in the end everything broke down .
and chaos irrupted .

tunggu walaupun lambat ?

2009-03-23T03:24:00.000+08:00

look at how sweet my wifey is .
she's just the most wonderful lady i've met other than my family .
with her around, my life is so secure .
she's just different from others before her .

i dont care what people think of her .
i dont care bout her past .
i dont care if she is not pretty .
i dont care if she is to tin of a girl .
i dont care how her loud speaker voice irritate others .
i dont care how rough she treats me .
i dont care how much money is being thrown to her .
i dont care if everything that is mine has to be hers .

wanna know why ?
cause she's the girl who gave me support & confidence in life .
she's the reason why i wake up every morning with a smile.
if i'm willing to go to any level for her,
than i want to spend my whole life with her .
& i wanna grow old with her .
i love her . i love her . i love her . i love nurulain .
~
what's past is past .
i know i have bad mouth when i'm angry .
i know you know that i dont mean those words coming out of my mouth when i'm angry .
you are just the perfect fit for me nurulain .
our love when to the extend of involving families from both parts .
hahaha . . .
sometimes i find it really funny you know .
what the heck .
the love you gave for the past 16months has been beautiful & unmatch dear .
never will you be replace .
~
ps i know you love me like you've never loved anyone before .

2009-03-21T12:46:00.000+08:00

i just pity my grandpa . he's lonely without her now .
what makes me so guilty is, he'll always call me at work .
and ask if i'm sleeping over at his place .
and i'll answer yes .
but let him wait & never appear .
he wants me to accompany him there .
since i'm the first guy grandchild to him .
but i'm just a fuck up guy like i always am .
cause i've never been doing much for him .
instead i make him worry & left him to cry alone at home .
i just feel so useless .
i keep thingking, will i ever get a chance to do what my siblings got to do .
they got to share their earning with my grandmama .
and i didnt . & it hurts alot !
& now i'm left with my grandpapa to do that for .
will i ever get chance ?

hehehe. . .
just a crazy thing to do .
i'll get kill by her for doing this .
but what the hack .
here's the most ugly & most cunning side of my princess .
wee . . .

2009-03-21T11:25:00.000+08:00

it is saturday morning .

& i woke up so early in the morning .

cause my little wifey need to go for her class .

& i'm bored now .

hahaha . . .

i'm just praying hard hoping she'll succeed in her studies .

she dropped out cause me .

& now i'm really trying my best to give her the support she deserve .

and as for her .

she's thingking that i dont like her taking up studies again .

cause the time for us is gonna get cut short .

now i can state that she's WRONGFULLY accussing me .

cause for the past few month i've been bragging about schooling to her .

asking her to continue her O's .

and i am so glad she did !

wee . . .

nurulain . . .

i love you lah penelope .

2009-03-21T00:51:00.000+08:00

this is my one & only demanding, gorgeous, sexy, hot & adorable princess .

this are the babies in my life .

one of the chubbies & heaviest baby i've caried .

the lineage goes on . adrianshah .

this gentlemans are friends . fandi & iman .

the two who has the craziest type of giving love . my dad & my eldest sis .

arwen, arien & luthien . the hope, the trust & the confident .

going west coast is kinda of weird now . Hjh Rugajah Binte Sued .

the two guys with strong hope towards me .

this is my life .

introduction of the ups & down in my life .

my true ladies, gentleman & babies .

2009-03-20T14:08:00.000+08:00

accept my sincere apology .

you're the one i love most nurulain .

2009-03-20T13:55:00.000+08:00

hey my sweet, cunning, gorgeous angel .
let me get this clear to you & everybody around .

you do notice that we've been spending much of our time together . it's like we're being glued together . & i hope you know that i really love & appreciate it so much . wanna know why ? cause it's with you nurulain . & that's all i've ever wanted . with you .

do you know that, i'll feel so insecure without you around .
that's why i expect you to be with me in all of my destination .but that's not happening ain't it ? but nurulain, i come to realise that we both have family .
& if i were to expect that from you, i'll be too selfish & self-centred . i hope you'll understand if i make faces when we have to seperate . & let me cool down awhile it'll work .

nurulain, i'm really so in love with you .
i'm so into you . i'm so obsess over you .
you're my only one . the one i need most .
so when i walk away, never expect me to be gone forever .
loves, huggies, smootchies . . .

first post

2009-03-20T13:38:00.001+08:00

Hey Everyone . . .
This Is My First Time Here . . .
And I'm Trying To Enjoy It . . .
BlahBlahBlahBlahBlah . . .